


Breaking the chain

by pixiedurango



Series: The Arya Trevelyan Files [13]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drug Withdrawal, F/M, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Love Triangles, Lyrium, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, References to Drugs, Romance, Sweet, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:47:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4622448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiedurango/pseuds/pixiedurango
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little piece of fluff about Arya and Cullen and his decision to cut the Lyrium. According to the game the first talk about this matter, another one will probably follow. Still both have some not further defined thing with each other and still Arya is also in love with Blackwall. I thank the incredible sweet @firgolfin for betareading and giving opinion about writing a better Cullen and her patience with me when I torment her sweetheart with Aryas wicked feelings for two men at the same time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking the chain

 

 

“Good morning, Cullen. What can I do for you? Your message sounded oddly urgent?“ Arya had headed for the Commanders office first thing in the morning, after a young recruit had brought her a short note from Cullen the night before, asking to see him in his office as soon as possible.  
  
„Inquisitor, thank you for sparing the time.“ Cullen sounded extremely tensed and it had been ages, since he had called Arya by her title. Also there was nothing of the boyish awkwardness and the usual flirting undertone in his voice today. She frowned, mildly concerned, fearing that something serious had happened. She stood in front of his desk and felt suddenly like an intruder where she had been comfortable before.  
At least recently she had felt easier around Cullen. After they had some talk about their feelings and the whole situation they found themself stumbled into. Things had started feeling less confusing and wrong after she had talked also to Blackwall, the other love in her life.  
  
But all this seemed to be not the reason he had asked for her to come. There was something bigger, much darker. She could feel it.  
  
„Sure, Cullen, I came here as soon as possible. What is it, that you feel you must adress me so overly formal?“ she tried to give the talk an easy and comforting tone and a merry smile to him but both failed. Suddenly too many thoughts and worries were running through her mind.  
  
„I didn’t want to bother you. You already have to carry too many burdens, but Cassandra persuaded me that you need to know… as our leader… and as… well, you know…“ his last words almost faded but she understood and felt that this may not be the time to argue about their relationship.

So she simply asked:  
„Know what?“  
  
„Arya, I don’t have to tell you about Templars and Lyrium I think?“ his amber eyes were distant and serious and held some pain in his glance.  
  
„Yes, I know they give that stuff to you so you can train abilities to control and kill Mages.“ Not her favorite topic.  
  
„I don’t take it anymore…“ he interrupted her with a soft voice. Not willing to take her response onto a personal argument over Templars and Mages.

She looked up in surprise.  
„How? I thought, once you vow into the order you will not go off from that stuff anymore?“  
  
„It’s an addiction. It’s painful but you can overcome it.“ He explained. She looked closer. He looked tired. Pale, almost ashen his face and dark circles under his eyes made him look worn out. His unsteady glance made him appear almost haunted of some kind.  
  
„Why, Cullen? As far as I know we have contracts running with some surface dwarfes to have the supplies for the Templars in our ranks granted. Are we running short and you feel you must step back?“  
  
He shook his head.  
„No Arya, it was my decision. I don’t want to stay an addict for the rest of my life.“  
  
„But this is dangerous, isn’t it? You can lose your mind over the withdrawl. Your life!“ her violet eyes went even bigger than they already were and showed all her sudden worries for him. Cullen chuckled in some sad way. To see that she really seemed to care made him at least feel a little less bad, somehow.  
He stepped closer and cupped her face with his hands.

„We are at war, Arya. We are always in danger. You are. Above us all, you are the one who risks everything, every day. I want to be able to say one day, that I gave the best of me to support you with that. And…“ he hesitated as if he needed to consider how to put his next words. „I want to be free, Arya. I think above all people you can understand the meaning of this.“ His eyes laid almost desperate on her.  
  
„For how long have you stopped taking it? What can happen to you, when you stop taking it? Can I help? Support?“ questions rumbled out of her mind and her mouth unsorted and almost harsh in her sudden worry about him.  
  
„When I joined Inquisition. I told Cassandra and asked her to watch over me. She has order and permission to suspend me the moment she sees me not being able to fulfil my duties anymore.“  
  
Arya frowned again and it was clear to see that she disliked his answer.  
„Why did no one tell me earlier about it?“ she demanded to know. „I can understand that you did not tell me right away in the beginning. But all this time? Both of you! Can you trust me so little?“ she withdrew from his touch, stepped back a few steps and folded her arms in front of her chest in a disapproving gesture.

„I did not want to bother you.“ He tried to explain. „Or make you worry. And I thought maybe it would…“ he hesitated, not sure how to put it into the right words.  
  
„Would what?“ she completed the sentence for him after he did not continue. „Make me doubt in you as a soldier? As a leader?“  
  
„And as a man, Arya.“ He nodded sadly. „I was afraid you would not accept me as I am a weak man. Not strong enough to fight against this addiction on my own.“ He almost choked on that confession.

„This is bullshit, Cullen. And you know it.“ She shook her head and closed the gap between them by stepping towards him again.  
  
„Really, is it?“ he asked almost sarcastic. „All those heroes around you. He! You want a strong man. You won’t go for less. Not for an addict unable to overcome his nightmares… But…“ He slung his arm around her waist and drew her closer. Buried his face in the crook of her neck. „I can do this.“ He mumbled against her soft skin.

Arya had been close to give some snappy replies about his opinions about him self, the other members of the Inquisition and Blackwall in particular. But she bit her tongue when she felt all the desperation in his words and the simple need to have her in his arms for a while. And after all, he was right in one point: She would never fall for weak men. She had fallen for him as much as she had for Blackwall.  
  
She crossed her arms behind his neck and held him. „Will you tell me, when you need my help?“ she asked with a soft but determined voice.  
He nodded, still his face against the crook of her neck. He felt weak, desperate and almost embarassed.  
But at the same time he savored every second being so close to her. Feeling more confident and regaining some hope again and so he did not want to break the moment. Occasions were rare when they gave in to their feelings and he simply craved for having her this close more often.

„I know you can do it. You are a strong man. Stronger than many others here.“ She ensured him and it was not only talk. She meant what she said. „Try to work less. Take some rest. Eat! And try to find some more sleep. Cullen, I beg you to do this! I’ll take care that you’ll get some food delivered three times a day. Soups and bread. And some fruit and cheese. Nothing fancy but I order you hereby to eat all of it. I’ll check on you! And If I’ll find out, that you let it go to waste, I’ll make Cassandra taking care of you while I am off to mission, do you hear me?“ He nodded again and when he lifted his head a little sad smile curled his lips. She softly kissed him on one cheek.  
There were times this would have not been enough for him, today it was all he needed.


End file.
